My Advice to an 11-Year-Old About the Modeling World

I was recently asked what advice I would give if I were confronted by an 11-year-old girl and her mother on getting into the modeling industry. It was one of those moments where so many thoughts rushed through my head that I wasn't quite sure where to start, or how to even give a semi-understandable answer.

Flashback 21 years.

I'm five years old, wearing my first pageant dress, and I have to walk across the stage, smile perfectly, do my turns just as I had practiced, and hope the judges choose me to give the shiny crown to instead of the half dozen or so other shy five year olds with similar bouncing curls and hairdos.

I didn't get the crown, but I did get a pretty tall trophy, which meant the judges must have thought I smiled pretty and did my walk and turns right.

A few years later, around nine years old I enrolled in modeling and etiquette classes. I wanted to be a model when I grew up, and I just knew I was going to be famous. These modeling and etiquette classes gave me confidence walking on a runway and doing local fashion shows at the mall. I had dreams of being "discovered" and found by an agency. I remember an older girl, Tiffany, who was signed by some agency. She might as well have been a celebrity to me, I thought she was so glamorous. She was a model! A real one, and maybe I could be like her.

One night after a fashion show at the mall, Tiffany's mom pointed me out and came over to me. She goes, "That's her! You've got it, you can be just like Tiffany! You are beautiful." I was floored and excited all at once. In retrospect, Tiffany was just your average 14-year-old girl who had a local modeling agency take interest in her. I'm not sure of her whereabouts now, but I'm sure she is living just like the rest of us.

But at that time to me, Tiffany was a supermodel..and I wanted to be just like that.

At 10 years old I prepared for my first modeling convention and competition. I was competing against other hopefuls in swimsuit (yes, at 10 years old) runway, voiceover, commercial and talent. I don't believe I won more than honorary mention, but I was already looking and comparing myself to other girls, both my age and older. I wanted to be the pretty girl, the one everyone liked, the one who was going to be famous...And I knew I would, one day. I was already tall, at 10 years old and 5'2. I would look through the popular magazines and compare myself to what those older airbrushed, women looked like. My cheekbones were high, my lips looked like the girl on this issue of Cosmopolitan, and so on.

 Myself, age 10

 

 Myself, age 12

 

 And thus, the dangerous cycle began. I was always comparing myself to actresses, models, and even in my young pre-teen and teenage years I was already thinking of what I could do to change my looks. Everything from hair color, tanning, cute outfits, plastic surgery- It didn't matter. I saw my body as an imperfect canvas, and that in order to be happy I'd have to actually win contests and have that sex appeal that could guarantee that no guy would ever leave me, and that I had the world in the palm of my hand.

Myself, age 18

According to an article on HuffPost Healthy Living, the National Association of Anorexia and Nervosa and Associated Disorders, I wasn't the only young girl with thoughts like these, and I'm still not. Nearly 70% of girls in grades five through 12 said magazine images influence their ideals of a perfect body.

What those girls don't realize is that those pictures aren't the truth. They aren't reflections of the average woman's body.

When I got into college, I took the modeling competitions up a notch. I started participating in more photoshoots with anyone that I thought could take some real photos, and I primarily just used those pictures for my social media profiles. I thought a hot looking profile picture would mean more people would like me. I also thought the more swimsuit competitions I participated in and won, the happier I was going to be.

 

Myself, age 23, Swimsuit USA competition in Playa Del Carmen, Mexico

Swimsuit competitions started to become what I revolved around. I thought it spoke of me as a better person, someone that other girls were envious of. I thought the better I looked, the better I actually was. In reality, when I was winning these contests and regarded them as a hobby and a job, all I was doing was comparing myself to other women. If I didn't place in a contest, I thought maybe it was because I was too tall. Maybe I was too big- maybe I should have dieted more. Maybe I didn't do my hair right...or...maybe they ARE prettier than me. Maybe I should do something drastic about it.

You see, starting in the modeling industry gave me a sense of false confidence. It's false, because you're basing your self-worth and happiness on something so superficial. That's not happiness.

The older I got the more I realized that maybe these issues of constantly wanting to change my appearance were a little deeper than I thought. During an international competition in Las Vegas, NV one year, I realized that even dieting wasn't going to help my waist look any slimmer- the only choice I'd have at looking more petite is to have a rib removed, creating a smaller rib cage and waistline. Now of course, this was just a thought, but it signified something much bigger. I began to realize at this point I had fallen into body dysmorphia.

According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, people who suffer from body dysmorphic disorder take their perceived flaws to the extreme. They can't control their negative thoughts of their physical appearance, no matter what others may say. To the sufferer, the perceived flaw causes much emotional distress, and they may go to any length to correct the "problem," or even avoid social situations altogether.

Rachel Scherdin, registered dietitian, also knows first-hand what can happen when young girls pour their self-worth into the modeling industry.

"It's a destructive environment. It's a breeding ground for negative body image, as you are constantly comparing yourself to others and being compared to other models. What once used to be fun starts becoming an obsession."

Jessica Lundy, a successful promotional model and National Physique Committee fitness competitor says she personally didn't start modeling until she was old enough to understand the industry.

"I would never push it on my daughter, but if it was something she wanted to do I would just know to do my research with everything. I would also advise her to remain balanced and grounded, and to always know who you are and what you want."

Now, back to the 11-year-old wanting to break into the modeling industry.

My advice to you: know who you are and what makes you happy. Don't compare yourself to others, life isn't a competition based on looks. Focus on being happy and healthy, and don't worry about how you look. Looks are not going to bring happiness, I promise you. Focus on doing what you love, participate in sports, excel in school. Make your goals something you can obtain, not something where you depend upon the judgement of others.

Women have been objectified for decades as sexual objects. It's our job to help turn that around.