Why we Shouldn't #FreeTheNipple

I'll admit I do hold feminist views, but there are some things I do not agree with. Recently, exposed female nipples in public have been all over the media, from breast feeding in public to Rihanna's see-through tops. Now, some women have started the #FreeTheNipple campaign in hopes to bring about gender equality. 

According to an article on The Huffington Post, creator of the #FreeTheNipple campaign, filmmaker Lina Esco says the movement isn't about encouraging women to walk around naked, it's about bigger issues.

Just to be clear, they are looking for are the same rights as men to go without a shirt if they'd like, as well as get rid of the rape culture and slut shaming. I agree those are serious issues, but I'm not too sure on their tactic.

Scout Willis

I don't think a woman exposing her breasts is the way to go as far gender equality. I understand breasts are for breastfeeding, but I still abide by the rule that there is a time in a place for everything. Whether women want to agree with this or not, women's breast are very sexually objectified. 

I don't believe there should be any desire for women to want the right to go topless, because it's not sending the right message no matter how you angle it. A woman's body is different than a man's, there are areas that are more sensitive to others. Sure, there's a long way to go in order to  have gender equality, but walking around topless isn't the answer.

No matter what anyone says, a woman baring her breasts will always be looked at in a very sexual nature. I feel that many men would laugh and say that's okay with them- but the reality of it is that no "message" is being received other than checking out a topless chick.

For those who want to support the campaign but don't want to actually go bare-chested, there is a new bikini top you can buy.

The Tatatop

The Tatatop is a bikini top made of a flesh colored spandex with nipples, that makes the wearer appear to be topless. The Tatatop was created for women to support the #FreeTheNipple campaign, without actually going topless. A portion of the cost goes to the Lynn Sage Cancer Research Foundation.

 What are your thoughts on the #FreeTheNipple campaign? Do you think it is a good way for women to achieve gender equality?

Miss Indiana and her "Normal" Body

With all of the buzz flooding around Miss Indiana's "curvier," "thicker" and "normal" body, I wanted to take a step back and look at what society is actually doing here.

Yes, I tuned into the Miss USA pageant last Sunday night. Growing up as a little girl I loved watching pageants on TV, but I'll be honest- I was debating watching this debacle. Not to completely bash pageants, but I do know what it's like competing in them and the idea it gives society, as well as the women in them. Not to mention, not all pageants are as sugary sweet as they seem to be.

So let's say you make it as big as the Miss USA pageant- a really big feat. How does the rest of society look at this? I know by the flooding on social media, everyone was rooting for the contestant that represented their home state, and, of course, who they thought was the best looking.

Because in beauty pageants, the best looking is the best choice.

In this type of atmosphere people are drawn to be supportive of whoever the most beautiful contestant is. It's all about the hair, the makeup, the slender body. Women being paraded around based on their beauty. I know, there is an educational and philanthropic aspect to it, but in beauty pageants, if you don't have the look, you don't have a chance.

From being a woman and knowing body sizes, I can easily tell most of the women in the Miss USA pageant are easily a size 0, maybe a 2. I can tell from the slender waist lines and bone structure even just from a TV. Miss Indiana 2014, Mekayla Diel displayed a shape much smaller than the average American woman, and has received more attention for having a "normal" size body than the winner of the pageant did for winning.

Photo credit: Entertain This, USA Today

Okay for one, how is this shape "normal?" How can anyone's body be classified as "normal?" Also, it is widely known that Miss Indiana's shape is not the size the average American woman is.

Oh, but wait. This is a beauty pageant.

This is what society is lead to believe- that in order to be beautiful a woman must be very tiny, have a nice round butt (no cellulite please) a nice bosom (no breast implants, only natural, but they can't be too small) and 6 pack abs (not too manly though) with nothing extra.

And society loves this. Many women continually bash their "normal bodies" because their stomachs aren't completely flat. They aren't the same size they were several years ago, and they don't look like the hottest Hollywood actress.

I don't expect society to change, but what we can do is create awareness and teach ourselves, our daughters and our sons that true beauty is much more than skin deep. After all, who more do they look up to besides you?

Your Online Self vs. Your Actual Self

An interesting topic came up in my communication class last week about social media networks, and I couldn't quite come up with a definite answer:

How do you self represent online? Are there differences between your "online self" and "actual self?"

Mind blown.

It's such a simple question when you first look at it, and I thought immediately that of course my "online self" was different than my "actual self." Online, you only see the same non-emotional status updates that I think are few and far between, occasionally some pictures of my cats or a community event...and oh, running and grad school. You will see some of those on there as well.

What you do not see is what goes on behind the scenes. You will not know how I'm feeling that day, if I'm sad or upset, and you won't know what's really bothering me. You won't know if I've had a stressful day and went to sleep crying. You won't know what's really going through my mind.

Here's the crazy part though: isn't that the same way I am with my actual self?

I am by nature an introverted person. Unless you are very close to me, you won't know what kind of day I'm having anyway. You know just as much as what my online self would allow you to know: that I attend graduate school, I run a lovely little blog titled Creating Confidence, and that I'm attempting to be a runner. That's about it. So isn't this the same? I feel that my online self is the same reflection of my actual self.

Let's take a step back for a second.

We all know those people who post their entire daily lives on social media, in fact, you may be one yourself. Have you ever had a "friend" who is constantly on social media sites, posting non-stop, then when you see them in person they don't say much at all? More than likely they are probably too busy responding to Facebook message and Twitter updates. I feel that while social media networking sites have made it easier in a sense to be"connected" to people you haven't seen in years and might not even recognize in person, but it has left a void where face-to-face communication should be. It's made it easier to get the news and to feel closer to different organizations and brands. Heck, if you are displeased with a product or company, simply write something negative on their social media sites and look how fast you will get a response...But what are missing out on here?

There's a quote I heard about a year ago that has stuck with me when it comes to social media networking sites and what people promote about themselves. 

The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes to everyone else's highlight reel.

It's certainly easy to do, especially since you're only seeing a version of what people only want you to see online. You won't see me posting about a bad day I've had or any of my own personal fears- that doesn't mean I don't struggle with them daily. You only see what people allow you to see online. Online, you can construct a different identity if you'd like to, and face-to-face communication is slowly getting away from us.

How many times have you been to a restaurant and watched people glued to their phones and not talking to one another? How many times have you communicated with someone online, to barely speak a few words to them in person? How many bits of personal information do you know about someone you haven't seen in years? It's crazy.

What are your thoughts? What do you choose to share with people online, and do you feel that your "online self" differs from your "actual self?"