Talking With Three Young Women Really put Social Media into a New Perspective...
Recently, I had the chance to sit down and talk with three young teen and pre-teen girls to find out what it's really like to be in middle school these days and growing up with social media and cell phones. While I graduated high school in 2006, you can almost call me an old lady compared to them.
Throughout our conversation, I found their responses to be very interesting, even different than what I imagined. Actually, some were the complete opposite of what I was I thinking.
On Sunday, I had the pleasure of meeting Laura, who recently turned 12 and is in the 6th grade, her older sister Libby, a 13-year-old 8th grader, and Taryn, a 12-year-old 6th grader who attends a different school than the two sisters. *Note, names have been changed, and I had permission from their parents to speak to them on this topic*
And our conversation went a little like this...
Maegen Sweat: So, how many different social media accounts do you all have? Are you on Facebook and Instagram?
Laura: I have an Instagram and Pinterest
Libby: I have Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter and Pinterest
Taryn: I don't have any social media accounts, I don't even have a cell phone. Most people at my school do though.
MS: Have the rules changed regarding using cell phones at school? When I was in school you'd get in trouble if it even rang in class.
Laura: If you get them taken away, you will get them back in third block. But my teachers don't really care in 6th grade, you can play games and text- they aren't too strict.
Libby: You can have them out but it will have to be for research reasons.
Taryn: My school is pretty much the same, in a lot of classes people will play games, sometimes they teachers notice but they don't really say much.
MS: What is K-I-K? (I spelled it out.)
Laura: You mean KIK [pronounced like kick] It's just a texting app. Most people don't use it anymore.
MS: So on Instagram, what do you or most of your friends post?
Libby: Most people post pictures of friends, or like at the movies, bowling. There's a thing called "selfie Sunday," and it's a hashtag. I have taken a selfie and posted it with a cool filter once or twice, but some girls do it a lot just because they are bored or if they just haven't had a picture to post in a while. Sometimes I've even unfollowed people just because I don't want to follow them anymore or they are annoying.
MS: What do you think of people posting selfies?
Laura: I mean if you post one or two that's okay.
MS: Do you your parents have access to your Instagram or can they see what you post?
Libby: [Laughs] My parents don't look at my Instagram.
Laura: I'll show my parents my pictures.
MS: So what are these hashtags titled "TBH" or "TBR?" I've seen some statuses or pictures with a "TBH" or "TBR" and when someone likes the picture, the poster then post a comment to whoever likes it. Side note- Confused yet? Ha.
Laura: To be honest [TBH] is just something people do when they are bored. To be rude [TBR] people don't really do anymore, and if they do it's just joking around people aren't too rude about it.
Libby: There's also a thing called "Rate and Date" where you rate the person and say if you'd date them or not.
MS: Have you or any of your friends every experienced cyberbulling?
Taryn: We're learning in health class about the 8 common ways of cyberbulling, but no I've never dealt with it myself.
MS: What do you girls think of reality TV? Do you think it's the truth or scripted?
Laura: [Laughs] Our mom doesn't want us to to watch it.
Libby: [Laughs] I disagree with her! My mom even watches it, like Dance Moms, Keeping Up With the Kardashians, TLC, Toddlers and Tiaras.
Taryn: I don't really watch TV, I mean I look up YouTube videos, or I watch old, good movies like Green Acres. I like the good, old shows. Not the crap there is today. I also read a lot.
MS: Do you think it's the truth or scripted?
Libby: Some of it is staged, some of it is real. Sometimes you can predict what's going to happen because it's just laid out so perfectly.
MS: So you watch Keeping Up With the Kardashians, what do you think of them?
Libby: I was looking at Kim's Instagram, and in all their pics they have on all their make-up and their hair is done. It's like they got completely ready to take a selfie.
Laura: I think they [reality TV stars] are just humiliating themselves. The things they do aren't even funny or worth doing.
Taryn: Yeah, sometimes TV just really rots your brain.
MS: So do you ever take selfies?
Libby: I won't post a picture on Instagram if I look weird.
Laura: I won't take great measures to do my hair.
MS: Do you girls feel any pressure to look like famous actresses?
Taryn: No, but it's like that commercial. They took a regular girl and showed what all they did to her to make her look like a celebrity. Also, that Dove commercial where they have the woman describe herself to a sketch artist, and then another person would describe that woman to a sketch artist. The stranger's sketch was always better.
MS: How does that make you feel?
Taryn: I think it's cool but sad at the same time. Because that person thinks they look bad but the other person doesn't.
MS: How do you girls feel about make-up? Do you wear any?
Libby: I wear make-up, I started in 7th grade.
Laura: I wear clear mascara.
Taryn: A lot of girls wear make up, like concealer and stuff in 6th grade. But 7th and 8th grade, then it starts getting scary.
MS: Define "scary."
Libby: They wear green and purple eyeshadow. I mean I think that's okay, but only if you're in college or older, or maybe on a special occasion.
MS: So back to the internet, do your parents monitor what you look at?
Libby: The parental controls aren't set, I don't think my parents know how to set them. We could probably go to any website we wanted to and they wouldn't know- but we don't.
Laura: Our brother [age 15] gets in more trouble with being on his cell phone than we do- but there are no parental controls set, I'm not sure it's possible.
MS: So you have free reign to look at any website you want?
Laura: CMS school systems block most websites, like YouTube, any social media sites. So when you have a phone at school you don't have access to a lot of websites.
MS: Do you think that boys your age would maybe use that to look at websites they aren't supposed to?
Libby [Laughs] I don't think so, I don't think he [my brother] would go look up Victoria's Secret models online or anything..not that they are that bad, but you know. For middle school guys, I don't think it's a big deal. I don't think they would look up any nudes online.
MS: Do your parents set any rules, like when you can have cell phones and when you can't?
Libby: If it's after 9 p.m. our parents don't like us to be on social media. Or if we are at a restaurant or at dinner, we can't have our phones out. My brother still gets in trouble with this all the time, and sometimes if I'm sassy my dad will take my phone away for a little while.
Interesting points right?
I'd have to say the answers weren't quite what I was expecting, but I don't think we should be so naive. Overall, I spoke to a great group of young women who really have their heads on their shoulders and are really smart. I know their parents have set proper limitations when it comes to cell phone and social media use, and I think the girls really respect that- and it shows.
What are your thoughts to their statements? Do you think it varies from teen to teen? I want to know your thoughts!
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