Cyber Bullying: The Next Level of Bullying

It's sad to say, but bullying has always been around. There has always been the classroom bully who could lead a group of others in intimidating and abusing another student. In earlier days, you could leave the typical school bully at school, and return home in peace. These days thanks to social media, the bully has grown even bigger, uglier, and even worse in some cases...anonymous.

And enter The Troll.

 Troll: (noun) A person who shows disregard on the internet by starting arguments or upsetting people by posting inflammatory,  extraneous or off topic messages in an online community, either accidentally or with the deliberate intent of provoking readers into an emotional response.

Attending high school and middle in the early 2000s, I was right at the onset of social media. I remember being bullied via anonymous screen names on AIM (AOL Instant Messenger). I believe around my junior year of high school I created a Myspace page. By the time I enrolled in college at Coastal Carolina University, I was allowed to create a Facebook page (those were the days when you have to have a college email address to create a Facebook page.) I had my fair share of mean comments, messages and remarks, but it's nothing like what teenagers and pre-teens are subjected to these days.

In the various social media sites, including Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and more, teens can be constantly bullied without a seeming escape. The most obvious answer to adults would be to just delete those social accounts. But I believe to young teens, deleting social media accounts to avoid bullying may not seem like an option for many of them. With so much of their lives focused on the laptop and their cell phones, deleting their social media account would be a sort of "social suicide."

I find that people who use social media accounts tend to be less inhibited. I'm not quite sure why but there seems to be a disconnect between people and their social profiles in some cases, so they feel they can bully or degrade someone and get away with it.  A lot of time there is no censorship, manners or even common courtesy online.

Cyber bullying among teens is a bigger issue than many of you have thought. Consider these 11 facts on cyber bulling provided by www.dosomething.org:

1. Nearly 42% of kids have been bullied online. 1 in 4 has had it happen more than once.

2. 70% of students report seeing frequent bullying online.

3. Over 80% of teens use a cell phone regularly, making it the most common medium for cyber bullying.

4. 68% of teens agree that cyber bullying is a serious problem.

5. 81% of young people think bullying online is easier to get away with than bullying in person.

6. 90% of teens who have seen social-media bullying say they have ignored it. 84% have seen others tell cyber bullies to stop.

7. Only 1 in 10 victims will inform a parent or trusted adult of their abuse

8. Girls are about twice as likely as boys to be victims and perpetrators of cyber bullying.

9. About 58% of kids admit someone has said mean or hurtful things to them online. More than 4 out 10 say it has happened more than once.

10. About 75% have visited a website bashing another student

11. Bullying victims are 2 to 9 times more likely to consider committing suicide

My question to you: Have you or anyone you know ever been a victim of cyber bullying? How did it make you feel and what do you think we can do to make a difference?


Check out the video below from www.myfoxdc.com about the dangers of cyber bullying. DC News FOX 5 DC WTTG

The Selfie: Shameless Promotion or Self-Destruction?

Humans need and crave attention, it's a part of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs which pertain to the basic needs of a person. People want attention, they want to feel confident, accepted and they have a need to feel wanted. I think today people are placing the need for acceptance in all the wrong places: social media. To me, social media is just an illusion of acceptance.

The Selfie.

Several months ago I thought it was just a slang word, a sort of a joke. I was seeing all of my social media sites taken over by selfies, pictures that people take of themselves. Getting ready for school? Perfect time for a selfie. Girl time at the pool? Let's take a selfie. Hitting the gym for a quick workout? Well you can't prove it unless you take a selfie at the gym right? 

In 2013, the Oxford Dictionary named "selfie" the official 2013 word of the year, and that's because they are everywhere.

I am all for self-confidence and accepting yourself. I have taken selfies myself, but I really have an issue with people, especially women and young girls, attempting to fulfill a need for confidence and acceptance through a picture placed on social media sites.  

What gives me the right to talk?

I've been there. As a teenager and into my early 20's, I dabbled in print modeling. I did photoshoots, and part of it was because I was trying to find acceptance through my physical appearance. I wanted someone to tell me I was pretty. I didn't really find it, even if they did give me compliments. It didn't cover the void I was trying so hard to desperately fill.

I've learned that you are so much more than the photoshopped picture you take and post just to see how many likes, shares, retweets and favorites you receive from your "social media friends/followers." I by no means believe that selfies are bad, or even professional photos, I just think people, especially young girls place too much value on a picture that's been enhanced through an Instagram filter. I think we're looking for self-actualization and gratification with one angled shot, and life and your personality cannot be represented that easy.

You are so much more than that.

You are worth more than any picture. One picture cannot show everything about you. Selfies allow you to be seen through that one lens, thus opening yourself up for to be judged by others. While you're searching for that instant approval through an Instagram or Facebook "like," life is happening around you.

I find it disturbing that there are many "games" online that teenagers use to communicate with each other, where they place so much vulnerability on one single shot. I've seen young teens rate each other and critique each other's looks on social media sites as a game they play out of boredom. They don't realize the possible destruction they are putting each other through. 

Dove's global self esteem ambassador, Jess Weiner weighs in selfies in her recent talk with the fashion site, Refinery29 as reported by Kim Tranell:

“There’s a lot of self-editing going on. Many women and girls who are shy use selfies to portray themselves as a different character. It can be dangerous if you’re spending too much time judging yourself on your beauty and focusing on judgment of others, not just capturing a moment in time.”

So are selfies really that bad?

 I don't think there is anything wrong in a little self-promotion here and there, but I don't think young women should be basing their entire self worth one on single picture. 

So readers, what are your thoughts on the infamous "selfie?" Shameless Promotion, or Self-Destruction?

Myself, selfie around age 17.

Dove Love Your Body Campaign - Truthful, or a Marketing Strategy?

Dove is a company known for their beauty products, including body wash, lotion and deodorant specifically targeted for both women and young girls. Recently, Dove launched a huge campaign that has received many reviews, both positive and negative.

In the "Real Beauty" video by Dove, several women were asked to describe their physcial appearance to a forensic artist. They have to give details on their specific facial features, and in the video you hear the women critiquing themselves including:

 "I have a big jaw."

"I would say I have a pretty big forehead."

"My chin kind of protrudes a little bit, especially when I smile."

Before the women are sketched by the forensic artist, they socialize with a complete stranger. The stranger is then asked to describe the woman they just met for another drawing to be made. The two sketches are then compared side-by-side.

The results?

The sketch described by the stranger was much more beautiful than the sketch when the women described themselves. Dove ends this with, "You are much more beautiful than you think."

Why the criticism?

Why is this beautiful and touching campaign coming under some harsh criticism?  From my research, many consumers believe this is just another marketing strategy by Dove to sell products to women. They believe Dove is purposely tugging on women's insecurities to sell product. What makes it worse, Dove is also owned by the same company that owns Axe Men's Body Spray, and their commercials are certainly always pertaining to women's looks and sex appeal.

My Thoughts

I believe this is a particularly touching and emotional video. I think it really digs in and shows the raw emotion of the women as they openly describe what they believe are their imperfections. Marketing ploy or not, I believe it speaks volumes.

I think women and girls subject themselves to what they think society believes the"perfect woman" looks like, even though we know there is no such thing. When watching this video, I put myself in the women's shoes.

If I were asked to describe my features to a stranger, what would I say?

Would I focus on my flaws?

Would I say what I believed was truthful?

To be completely honest, I am not sure how I would describe myself. Regardless of this video's intent, I think it's a real eye opener to see how critical women can be of their own appearance.

If grown women don't know that they are beautiful, then what message are we sending to our daughters and younger girls?